Well, here is my update for the week. I am really trying hard to keep up here because when I do, I keep myself more accountable for things.
OK, we’ll start with savings. After my last post, our savings dwindled down to just under $1k. Not where I wanted to be, that’s for sure. I will get into why in a minute. But, I did step up my game and I am really still aiming for my $5k by May goal. It is a savings goal I need to stick to because I need to move in June…yeah, I am not happy about that one either.
Why did our savings get down so low? Well, things at work went from bad to worse and I have been home a lot more. Instead of taking the time and doing it smart and writing when I was home, I fell into somewhat of a depression mode. I should just stop calling out sick and being a baby and just quit already. My fear is losing that “steady paycheck” and the stability of having a “job”, but this place is sucking the life out of me. I look like crap, I feel like crap, and I am upset that I can’t just cut the ties all together. Besides, what money am I really making going in a few days a week anyway?
Yes, I have my writing and I write part-time every week. Do I think I can do it full-time? It certainly looks like there is enough work for me in the field for a while, I am just so scared. You know, the company I got hired with months ago, I have yet to do a project for. I still have a job with them, but in order for me to complete any assignments for them I have to create an author bio and give them a pic of me for all online to see. For one, that is stepping out of my comfort zone. Two, I was fearful my job would see it. However, if I want to leave my job and make money writing, this company would be the way to go. I guess I need to get over it and get that bio and pic up there…
I do ghostwrite and actually love it! This other job would pay more so I guess I need to toughen up–this is my way out. I can’t believe I actually cried about this all week. I feel as bad as I did now as when I was carrying over 100k debt on my shoulders. I just really need to take that leap and get over my fears. I have been through a lot, how will I know if I can make it on my own if I don’t try? Surely I can’t keep up like this. I feel so miserable and unmotivated, yet I remain hopeful that I will get through this. Life is just too short…
I was reading a really interesting article earlier this week and it helped a lot. You know, everyone has it rough some days at work. We all have had a jerk boss or two in our lifetime. Not to mention our fair share of office politics and company BS…”did ya get that memo?” crap. Some of us have it worse than others. It just stinks that the economy makes it harder for many to leave a job that they do not want to be at for fear there won’t be another to go to. I am sure many put up with BS every single day…just to put food on the table each week. It sucks. I am there.
There is no use complaining about it though, I gotta do something. Here is the link to the article. Reading the comment section was a real eye opener…WOW, I am not alone.
Tags: quitting your job, quitting your job in a bad economy, the economy
Interesting article, I can sort of understand his wanting to make a move and do something else, sometimes if you keep waiting, then you never make the jump. Although it does make a difference once you have a family, sometimes we suffer alittle so we can be better down the road. But with you having other options like your writing, I dont’ think you should suffer at your job anymore, you did enough! Maybe spend the next month building up your savings again, but pick a date to put your 2 weeks notice in. Sometimes we have to make big changes to be happy. I personally have helped make some short films, started the businesses, bought houses, etc. Didn’t always workout, but I am glad I took the leap and tried new things, something to make you enjoy life again. Don’t keep delaying, set your date, 30 days from today! : )
J
Jai,
Thanks for the encouragement. Yesterday I got ready for work and could not make it out the door–I got physically sick. Since there was a lot of conflict on Friday, I only imagined what I would be walking into after that. My husband told me I looked like a nervous wreck and to just quit already. I totally agree, but remembered what it was like when we had zero, zip, zilch in savings and thought long and hard before quitting.
So I emailed my boss and simply gave her the short and sweet” can’t make it to work today” email. Something I never do, but I think she knew why…
I took the day off and spent a very quiet day with the family looking at the ocean and clearing my mind. It did wonders. Last night when I came home, I wrote a list of pros and cons of quitting and the pros were mighty long! Since today is my normal day off, I have had time to think this through. I am currently working on getting some private work lined up, working on my bio for the company I spoke about, and getting things in order for my exit strategy. Boy does 30 days sound good!
I don’t have the exact date I want to be out by, but I am aiming to be out by June…the latest. The kids will be out of school, it will be moving time, and I should have my clients lined up and more money in savings.
Just knowing I will be out soon will help me deal with it for the next coming months. Of course, I may get fired before then which will totally change my scenario, but we’ll see what I walk into tomorrow.
I will feel good having a paycheck come in while I get our savings up again and line up more work.
You are so right, it feels good to at least try things out—even if you fail. At least you tried and you will never be left with the “what if’s” in life. I think so many of us miss out on so much in life because of fear of the unknown. When my husband told me to quit and I asked “well what if it doesn’t work out?” he looked at me clearly and asked me the question “what if it does?” How could I argue with that one?