Debt, stress, weight gain=Unmotivation?

I don’t really know what is going on but I think stress is getting the best of me. With the bankruptcy almost behind us and being caught up on all our bills, I should be jumping for joy. But I am not.  A few months ago, I got a burst of energy and started a million and one projects and they have just sat. I got so excited because all these little projects in the long run had the potential to make money to help our family out but they have sat untouched-I have done absolutely nothing with them.

My inbox has also been flooded with hundreds of paid surveys that I have just let sit.  When I started blogging, I always knew I loved to write but never thought I could make money at it. I found that I could. Not much, but if I kept at it-I am sure I could. I wrote a couple articles here and there for a few bucks and stopped. There are so many possibilities but I have been so unmotivated-I don’t know why.

These past few weeks, my boss has been on a rampage and my office has turned into a “war zone”. I have been relieved knowing that it was not all directed at me but just the tension in my office is unbearable. Everyone is calling out sick, going home early and if they are there-they are miserable. It rubs off on everyone. After hearing screaming match after screaming match combined with some intense arguments, I called out sick yesterday. I literally could not handle going in. Usually I am a tough person but I just can’t deal with the fighting right now. 99% of the time-the fighting is over—M O N E Y!

I work for a small family owned company and times are tough there but not so bad that our doors will be closing anytime soon. The problem is, you mix family with money and it is becoming a disaster. I am right in the middle of it all too. It is hard. I said once the bankruptcy was over with-I am outta there. The problem is-where do I go? I have been looking and there are no good jobs out there. There are a few crap ones but why go from one crap job to another?

I get so mad at myself because I started all these projects and left them. They could easily be my ticket out of there alone. I don’t plan on becoming a millionaire but if I could just make a few bucks a day from a few different sources, I could easily be able to afford to leave my job. Just as an example, when my husband was home without a job, I showed him a site where he could easily write a few “how to” articles and make a few bucks. He wrote a little over 3o “how to” articles on subjects he knew about and let them sit. Since then, he has consistently made at least $1.00 a day just on those articles alone. Each article took minutes to write and just by sitting, they earn him money every month just sitting there. He never has to touch them again. Just imagine if he added more?

That is just one of the income sources out there. There are tons! That is why I am hard on myself because I should be concentrating on them. The problem is, I get so stressed out from my commute and my day job, by the time I get home, I am mentally washed up. This is not good. This will not get me ahead in life. I am trying so hard to get passed it but I don’t know what is holding me back!

Another thing that is bothering me is, my husband working nights. It is helping us tremendously financially but mentally it…sucks. I come home and he is ready to take a nap before he goes to work. He works all weekend so we no longer look forward to weekends. It is just not the same going anywhere without him. We have tried, something is missing when he is not with us so we stay home. He has tried to stay up and do things with us but you can tell he is drained and tired and I don’t like to put him through that. He has 2 days off during the week-when we are at school/work-what fun is that? I know work is hard to come by and I shouldn’t complain, at least he has a job. I know this. It just really stinks.

Not only is his working overnights screwing up our schedules but he is gaining weight-we both are. We both already got fat dealing with our debt-we surely do not need to gain any more weight!  It is hard to stick to any diet or routine with his hours. I am trying to figure out a way to do it and I just can’t. I don’t want us to be like this and I need to snap out of it so we can get out of this slump.  He also has not been use to an office environment in a while. He has gotten this uncontrollable “cough” and it is driving us crazy and has me worried. It started when he started working there. I don’t know what it is.

Lastly, we have a lot of “problems” going on in each one of our families. Health issues, mental issues, debt, divorce, drug problems-you name it-it is going on. I try to keep it off of here but I am a normal person too and I am not immune to this stuff.  It is just heartbreaking  to deal with.

Sorry if this post isn’t my normal. I just had to let it all out. When I am feeling better, I will look back on this and know what challenges I have faced. Hopefully by then, I will have overcome it all.